The Case of the Contraband Crotch

Panic-stricken: Amanatides then kicks the pills around the floor in a panic, trying to hide the evidence

Maybe they won’t notice (courtesy of

Andrea Amanatides is a 38-year-old woman in Albany, New York, scheduled to begin a six-month prison stint for a probation violation. She is also one of the worst prison smugglers in the history of crime.

While waiting in a holding cell in an Albany County Jail, and in full view of a surveillance camera, Amanatides had an accident. In an effort to make her prison time more enjoyable, she had hidden a condom inside her “hoo-ha” that included several bags of heroin, as well as more than 250 prescription pills ranging from Adderall and Valium to Lyrica and Ambien.

Unfortunately, the condom she selected must have been a Rough Rider from the corner store, because it broke and drugs poured all over the cell floor. Amanatides tried to kick the pills under a bench, as if they would disappear under the only piece of furniture in the room, but it didn’t work. She has now been charged with five misdemeanors for criminal drug possession and one felony involving prison contraband.

It looks like Amanatides will be spending more than six months in jail now. And even though she won’t have her precious drugs to keep her company, I’m sure she can replace them once she’s behind bars.

Congratulations, Andrea, on being my dumbass of the week!

Posted on November 29, 2012, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. One time at work one of my fellow officers made a traffic stop of a gang-banger, who unbeknown to the officer at the time had a gun on him (big no-no in Illinois) and that said gang-banger had his girlfriend hide the weapon in her pants figuring the officer would not check her. Of course the outline of a gun showed clearly on the front of the girls skin-tight stretch-pants. Prompting both of them to be arrested….

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