Coneheads Discovered

Conehead or alien tribute? (courtesy of CRISTINA GARCIA / INAH)

Archaeologists digging for an irrigation system at the El Cemeterio site in Sonora, Mexico accidentally made a very interesting discovery. They found 25 human skulls dating back a thousand years.

Normally, this wouldn’t be all that exciting a discovery. But when you consider that 13 of the skulls were cone-shaped and looked like something out of a “Saturday Night Live” skit from the 1970s, things become more bizarre and mysterious.

There is a scientific explanation for the deformed heads, of course. More than 1000 years ago, a number of different societies practiced the ancient ritual of cranial deformation. Some examples include the Choctaw and Chinookan tribes of America.

Basically, these cultures would bind a person’s head between two blocks of wood and allow the applied pressure to shape their skull into a cone. This was normally used to convey some kind of social status or to distinguish between different groups.

At least that’s what they want you to believe.

Beldar would be so proud!

What if these civilizations practiced cranial deformity to pay tribute to their gods? And what if these gods were actually cone-headed aliens who visited our planet and influenced ancient people around the world?

There are researchers who believe the ancient Egyptians were visited by alien beings, so perhaps the same may be true for ancient Hispanics.

Since there are present-day tribes that elongate women’s necks, put large plates into their lips and practice all sorts of equally unusual rituals, it is possible the “ancient coneheads” were just doing their thing. It just seems a little strange to me since other cultures removed by thousands of miles also practiced this weird, skull-deforming tradition.

It was the aliens, I tell you. I’m sure of it…