I’ve Been Shot!

No one is safe!

I’ve never been a huge fan of “round-up” articles, but sometimes they simply cannot be avoided. When news stories converge around a specific theme, in this case shootings, I find them very hard to resist. Of course, it would be better if the subject were less violent and disturbing.

The first incident happened on Christmas night in Phoenix, Arizona. 23-year-old yo-yo champion Nathan Dewitt was driving in his Ford Explorer when he suddenly lost control, rolled his SUV and crashed into a tree.

A witness rushed to help just as Dewitt was crawling from the wreckage. He told the stranger he had been shot and died a short time later at a local hospital. And sadly, the shooter has not yet been found.

I’m sure Dewitt never expected this Christmas to be his last.

A day later in Minneapolis, Minnesota, a 45-year-old pizza delivery man took a fresh pie to Demetrius Patterson, a seemingly normal customer. But we all know there ain’t nothing normal in this crazy world, don’t we?

It seems Demetrius was displeased with the small size of his pizza and demanded the driver give him all the deliveries from his car. The driver obviously refused and started walking back to his vehicle, so he never saw Demetrius bum rushing him from the house with a gun.

A small pizza doesn’t imply a small penis, Demetrius! What gives?

Fortunately for the driver, Demetrius is a terrible shot and missed, so he escaped unharmed. The cops picked up the disgruntled customer later, found and matched the handgun and booked him for second-degree assault.

It’s nice when these things work out for the good guys, because it doesn’t happen very often.

Finally we have 31-year-old Anthony Kuber of Chicago, Illinois. Tony got off the Red Line and was walking to his father’s house when muggers grabbed him and yanked him into an alley. They stole his iPhone, shot him multiple times and hauled ass. Kuber crawled to the street and begged someone to help.

Tony is lucky to be alive, of course, but he also lacks insurance and finds himself in debt. How’s that for the “icing on the cake?”

Guns. Why does it always have to be about guns?

Posted on December 31, 2012, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Guns make committing a crime easier… But, there are plenty of examples of knife wielding lunatics and Subway shovers just waiting in the wings for the glam squad gunners to clear the main stage and give them a chance to shine…. 😉

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