Reality Round-Up: Busted Edition

Do the crime, do the time (courtesy of VeryDemotvational.com)

Do the crime, do the time (courtesy of VeryDemotvational.com)

Crime doesn’t pay.

Actually, it might pay sometimes, but only if criminals are lucky enough not to get caught. And judging from all the crime that goes unreported each year, some people are obviously luckier than others.

The folks in this story are not the lucky ones. They’re not even the smart, talented, resourceful or mentally stable ones; they are the dumb ones, or at least a representative sample of this sad and pathetic demographic.

Feel no sympathy for them, of course. Just take comfort in knowing that in each of these cases, the law prevailed.

In each of these cases, the criminals found themselves in a state common to their chosen profession: BUSTED!

ALAMAGORDO, NEW MEXICO

Samuel Delgado was sitting at home one night, burning the midnight oil (as well as some homegrown marijuana), when he thought he saw someone outside. And he had a crazy feeling this person was out to get him.

Sam went outside to investigate and saw nothing, but then started to worry this “stranger” had entered his house. So he did what most law-abiding citizens would do: he called the police. And when they arrived, he gave the permission to search his home.

Unfortunately, Sam wasn’t a law-abiding citizen.

Aside from being a pot smoker, which is carrying less and less of a stigma these days, Sam was also a pot grower. Inside his home, officers found growing equipment, dozens of assault rifles, large quantities of cash and more than 100 marijuana plants.

Wild marijuana plant, Tadapani

Delgado’s weed has a paranoid buzz (Photo credit: Dey)

There was, however, no intruder.

Sam now resides in the Dona Ana County Detention Center in Las Cruces and faces federal charges for manufacturing marijuana. And once he’s finally sentenced to jail, he will face yet another challenge: explaining to his fellow inmates how—or more importantly, why—he decided to snitch on himself.

LACONIA, NEW HAMPSHIRE

Our next “criminal mastermind” is actually a sex offender with a taste for our most vulnerable children: those with special needs.

John Wright was a school bus driver who admitted to sexually assaulting the special needs children he was assigned to transport. He even videotaped himself molesting these kids.

Investigators found thousands of child pornography files on Wright’s computer and even linked him to videos of his encounters on the bus. He later pleaded guilty to one count of possessing child porn and multiple counts of sexually exploiting children.

Late this week, a judge sentenced Wright to the maximum sentence: 160 years in prison. And the only thing criminals hate as much as snitches are—you guessed it—child molesters.

Enjoy the rest of your pathetic life, Mr. Wright. It will likely come to an end much sooner than you think.

The Dog Lover (courtesy of LVMPD)

The Dog Lover (courtesy of LVMPD)

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

This final tale comes from the land of luck and chance, Sin City itself.

Unfortunately, it’s not the usual story about life-changing jackpots or broken dreams. It’s a story about depravity, and one the residents of this famous getaway likely want to forget.

On Tuesday, police were called to the home of 23-year-old Kara Vendereyk when neighbors spotted her naked in her backyard. And that’s not even the worst thing about it.

She was having sex with a pit bull. You heard me correctly: a dog.

When the cops arrived, Vendereyk greeted them warmly and seemed to be under the influence of something. She couldn’t answer basic questions—including the current date and the name of our president—and even claimed to be bipolar.

Now I don’t know much about bipolar disorder, but I’m fairly certain one of the symptoms is not bestiality. Of course, I could be wrong.

Needless to say, Vendereyk was arrested and charged with lewd behavior, while Animal Control assumed custody of her canine lover.

The poor neighbors, on the other hand, have the rest of their lives to try and erase this disturbing image from their memories.

Good luck with that.

This concludes another Reality Round-Up. But if history holds true, there will be plenty of new material for future editions soon. Thanks for reading and be good to each other!

Posted on February 24, 2013, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Thankfully they got the first nut job off the streets. The other two morons, sometimes you have to shake your head and say; “What the…..”

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