Off with His… Arms?

Don’t laugh. It could happen to you (property of Monty Python/Python Pictures)

I’ll say this about California: the news that comes out of that beautiful American state is rarely dull.

Take the latest from West Covina, a largely middle-class suburb in Los Angeles County.

Wednesday afternoon, police were called to the local Home Depot for something rather shocking. But it was off-duty Fire Captain Art Hurtado who first arrived on the scene.

He was there shopping on his day off.

Hurtado stumbled upon a man lying face down in a pool of blood. The 21-year veteran immediately sprang into action, gathered up some materials and made a home improvement project of the bleeding stranger, using twine and cloth rags as tourniquets to buy some time.

“At that time I knew we had to slow the bleeding down,” the chief said later. “Or this patient may or may not make it.”

Fortunately, the unknown man was rushed to a nearby hospital and is still alive. Critical, but alive.

More saving. More doing. More self-amputation (courtesy of Getty Images/Home Depot Inc.)

As interesting as this story is—and as heroic as Hurtado was in this life-or-death situation—nothing compares to the reason this strange man was bleeding on the floor of an innocuous home improvement warehouse.

He walked into the small tools area, grabbed a few hand saws and tried to cut off both of his arms. Why? I have no idea.

But I suspect he’s related to the fool from my “Zombie Freeway” post yesterday. He was hallucinating on something, stole a tractor-trailer and caused a huge accident that sent several people to the hospital… all because he thought zombies were climbing up the 18-wheeler to get him and he was trying to shake them off.

Even if these guys aren’t related by blood, they are certainly connected deeply by something else… stupidity!

That and a love of psychedelics. And maybe a shared desire to keep their legs. Who the hell knows?

Posted on April 13, 2013, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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