Somebody’s Getting Paid!

Pick your numbers soon! (courtesy of NC State Lottery/Powerball)

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t even consider buying a lottery ticket since I have a better chance of being struck repeatedly by lightning than ever winning a multi-million dollar windfall. Of course, a payout in the hundreds of millions is often too much for even me to resist, which is why ten tickets currently reside in my back pocket.

Since no clear winner emerged in Wednesday’s multi-state Powerball drawing—when the jackpot was a meager $360 million—the grand total has now risen to the second highest in U.S. history: $600 million!

In other words, a single winner could walk away with almost $377 million in cash. And though I know the odds are against me—and nearly everyone else who purchased a ticket—I certainly hope to be that guy.

The truth of the matter is that Saturday’s drawing will come and go, some group of co-workers at a panty hose plant in New Jersey will likely split the grand prize, and I’ll be lucky if even one of my numbers hit. About the best I can expect is a free ticket or, even better, reimbursement for the $20 I spent earlier today. Both seem to be long shots, though.

But there is always a chance. And that, I think, is why we all play the lottery—in the hopes that by some miracle, the planets will align, good fortune will smile upon us and we will become the newest millionaire in America.

Show ME the money! (courtesy of Flixya)

No more bills, no more struggling to make ends meet and plenty of cash to spend on whatever the hell we want. How awesome would that be?

Of course, there are some alleged disadvantages to winning the lottery. Hell, there’s even some kind of television show about people who lose their winnings, experience excessive bad luck or simply watch their lives turn to shit after collecting such a large prize.

Personally, though, these are problems I would love to be able to experience for myself. Mostly because I don’t give in to superstitions and such. As long as my bank account is busting at the seams, I’m confident that I can deal with anything Fate throws my way. Bring it on!

The big drawing is Saturday and my numbers are set, so I should be ready for what I assume will be another disappointment—albeit an expected one. But if things do work out the way I hope they do, my wonderful readers will be the first to know.

Actually, maybe the second. The first will be God because if I win the lottery, I plan to drop to my knees and to instantly convert to Christianity. After all, it’s going to take a miracle.

Posted on May 17, 2013, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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