Jackass of the Day Award, Vol. II

A screenshot from the Sandy Hook video game (The Daily Caller)

Honoring the Jackass of the Day can be a little tricky since by the time I read about this individual, the “day” of their ridiculous behavior has likely passed. Nevertheless, honorees still deserve credit for doing things most of us would never consider—or would be too responsible or intelligent to allow—and for this edition, I have two candidates in mind.

The first is Ryan Jake Lambourn, the creator of an online game entitled “The Slaying of Sandy Hook Elementary School” that lets players assume the role of Adam Lanza on that fateful day in December when 26 people—including 20 first-graders—lost their lives.

The game begins in Lanza’s home and offers players instructions like “shoot mother” and “get AR-15 and clips.” It then moves to the school so players can wander through the hallways, popping caps into students and teachers as they flee the deadly scene.

As you might imagine, Lambourn has come under fire for his game and parents and friends of the Sandy Hook victims can’t believe someone would glorify such a horrible act.

“Please tell us how playing a game that recreates how Vicki [Victoria Soto, a teacher killed in the attack] died would be beneficial?” a tweet to Lambourn read. “Please tell us.”

Vicki Soto was killed in Lanza’s deadly attack (Daily News)

Lambourn could not be reached for comment—obviously—but defended himself online and claimed that his game was intended to “promote stricter gun control measures” and to bring attention to other important issues.

“Here we are nearly a year after the Sandy Hook shootings in which 26 people were killed and absolutely nothing positive has come out of it,” Lambourn explained.

Of course, nobody seems to be buying his excuse, least of all U.S. Senator Christopher Murphy, who issued the following statement after hearing about the Sandy Hook game:

“To make a game about the murder of 20 children and their six teachers is absolutely sickening. I hope the very disturbed person who could think of something like this sees the cruelty of what he’s done and stops it.”

I hope so, too. Until then, however, Lambourn will reign supreme as my Jackass of the Day—or will at least share the honor with my next award recipient.

Lambourn’s co-Jackass of the Day is a Santa Fe man who was never named in the article I read, and probably shouldn’t be anyway. I certainly wouldn’t want my name connected to such jackass behavior, and in a moment you’ll understand why.

The man was leaving Wal-Mart one afternoon when he was approached by three strange women. They told him that he had a dark spirit and needed to have his soul cleansed before it was too late. He followed the women to a white van and handed over his cash and jewelry since they were identified as the “root of his problems.” The women then instructed him to cash a $500 check and when he returned with the cash, they took it, ripped it in half and kept it. The soul cleansing took place and the man left with a much lighter spirit than before, or so he thought.

Everyday low prices and soul cleansing for half price (Wal-Mart)

A few days passed and the man finally realized what happened: he had been scammed and his soul wasn’t really cleansed. He reported the incident to police, who caught up with the women at a nearby motel. They denied taking cash from the man, but confessed to having his jewelry and returned it. Of course, the cops couldn’t arrest the women, and you know why?

Because he gave everything to them willingly!

Jackasses are everywhere, to be sure, but please give it up for today’s award winners. Well deserved!

Posted on November 21, 2013, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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