Poor Ralphie learned a hard lesson in “A Christmas Story” (Warner Brothers)
Although the holiday season continues through New Year’s, Christmas for 2013 is now just a memory. I hope everyone enjoyed theirs as much as I did. And I hope that Santa Claus brought you everything you wanted, too.
Of course, we all know this wasn’t the case for everyone, don’t we?
Yes, while some received tablet computers, video game systems and loaded gift cards, others got gifts that still have them scratching their heads in disbelief. In an effort to help assuage their pain, frustration and confusion—and because I have yet another Lego set to build for my little man—here are some of the worst Christmas gifts this season had to offer.
Comedic value has to count for something, right?
Yum… bacon (Vitamin-Ha)
Baby Wee Wee comes with a tiny little penis and can actually piss all over you! (Birmingham Mail)
Brown liquid may not be the best beverage choice for this mug (First Time Mom and Dad)
By the time you actually get these on, it will be time to take them off again (Pinterest)
At Christmas, everyone is farting from all the delicious food. Do we really need toys joining in? (First Time Mom and Dad)
These are both tacky and cool. Freudian Slippers… nice (Smosh)
Nothing like a good jerky squirt to get you going in the morning (Chow)
Do they make Boxerhands? Tighty whities are too constrictive (happykwanza2013)
Do you really need a ring for thumb wrestling? Are you planning to tag in some other digit or something? (Vitamin-Ha)
Babies with body hair problems: only YOU can save them! (Birmingham Mail)
If you must give a tacky Christmas sweater, at least make it cool like this “Shining” sweater (Fearnet)
The Prez looks pretty good with a leafy green afro (Vitamin-Ha)
Careful hitting the snooze button! (Pinterest)
I know, I know! Smoking is bad for you! Blah, blah, blah! (ExBomb)
Edible “brief jerky” underwear: warm, convenient food on the fly. Just remember to floss the pubes out of your teeth when you finish (Vitamin-Ha)
Poor bastard got a Grinch onesie for Christmas! (Nate Smith/Twitter)
No list of bad Christmas gifts is complete without fruitcake. Do people under 70 actually eat this stuff? (Smosh)
For adults, this is perfect. Not so much for kids, I’m afraid (Birmingham Mail)
No animal deserves this much Christmas cruelty (Pinterest)
It is full of vitamins, or so I’ve heard. Still not sure I would rub it on my head, though (vincentthedog)