Police Pop Poopy Peeper
Try saying that title five times fast. It’s as tongue-twisting as they come.
A strange and stinky thing happened in Tulsa County, Oklahoma recently. Last Sunday, a woman taking her 7-year-old daughter to the restroom at Keystone Lake Park— whose facilities utilize a septic tank placed underneath a cement slab—looked inside the toilet and saw the water move in an unusual way. She looked more closely and suddenly realized that there was someone looking back at her!
There inside the septic tank—wading through and covered in urine and feces—was 52-year-old Kenneth Webster Enlow. He had his head shoved through the hole that leads up to the public toilet—a Peeping Tom covered in poop.
The woman immediately phoned the police and for roughly 15 minutes, Captain Doo-Doo just sat there quietly. When the cops arrived, however, Enlow suddenly cried out for help. Keystone Fire and Rescue workers helped him out of the hole and performed a more important public service a moment later: they hosed him off.
Enlow told police that his girlfriend Angel hit him in the head with a tire iron, dumped him in the toilet and then drove away in her 1972 Chevy Monte Carlo. I appreciate him including a detail in his story, but more on that in a second.
By his estimation—and because he claimed to have blacked out—the smelly suspect arrived in the hole roughly 30 minutes before he was found. He said that he couldn’t scream for help at first because he was unconscious. Police took Enlow to OSU Medical Center, but medical personnel confirmed that none of his injuries matched an attack with a tire iron.
In other words, the lying, perverted bastard covered in shit was also full of shit. I guess he was just down in it for too long, huh?
Needless to say, a clean and better smelling Enlow now resides in Tulsa County Jail. He was booked on a Peeping Tom complaint but—lo and behold—this “scatman” also had outstanding warrants for dumping trash, public intoxication, driving with a suspended license and even embezzlement!
It looks like Enlow will be spending quite a bit of time behind bars, which should be a smooth transition. After all, I’m sure he’ll smell his share of shit in the clink!
Posted on December 27, 2013, in Perspectives and tagged commentary, Crime and Justice, current-events, funny, humor, Kenneth Webster Enlow, news, Peeping Tom, perspectives, Shit. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.