I Need a Woman!

Kareem needed a woman, but got jail time instead (WDSU)

Kareem needed a woman, but got jail time instead (WDSU)

I had a friend who used to be one of my “party buddies” back in the day. One of our frequent party spots was a college town less than an hour from my home. Since we knew people who attended the college there, we always had a place to crash if drinking got out of hand. And though we normally stayed together during these late-night bouts of beer swilling, every so often we would get separated, which didn’t help him since I was always the one to drive.

When this happened, though, my friend did something most would consider ridiculous and even ill-advised: he would contact the local police department for what he called a courtesy ride. And oddly enough, officers always seemed willing to oblige him. They would swing by wherever he was located, pick him up and drive him to wherever we happened to be staying that night. It was quite an impressive feat, to be sure.

Of course, not everyone who calls the cops is as creative as this buddy of mine. And some people call for reasons only they can understand. Take Kareem Collins of St. Tammany Parish, Louisiana, for instance.

Last Saturday evening, St. Tammany police received a 911 call from Collins, who didn’t ask for help with an emergency or request an ambulance. Instead, he asked for something no police department should be expected to provide: a woman!

Yes, Collins told the police dispatcher that he “needed a woman.” And believe it or not, but they obliged him… in a way.

“We are guessing he wasn’t looking for [a woman] to come and run his criminal history, but that is what he got,” a representative from the Sheriff’s Office said.

And when they ran Collins’ history, they discovered that he was a sex offender who never registered as such when he moved from New Orleans to nearby Slidell. So instead of getting a woman like he wanted, Collins was arrested on charges of failure to register for a change of address and was transported to the parish jail.

So instead of getting a woman, Collins can feel like a woman… once the other inmates get hold of him. Not too bright…

Posted on January 15, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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