Underdressed

Cops arrest Modesitt, but his pants escape (Oregon State Police)

Cops arrest Modesitt, but his pants escape (Oregon State Police)

Have you ever gone somewhere and then realized that you were horribly underdressed for the occasion?

I can only assume this is a fairly common human experience. And this very thing happened to Jonathan Modesitt of Bothell, Washington last week.

Modesitt was visiting Creswell, Oregon and driving along Interstate 5 last Tuesday when he suddenly decided to try to board a school bus. He crashed into the bus repeatedly—presumably to force it to stop so he could jump on—but the alert female driver and her adult passenger were able to escape unharmed.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as well for Modesitt.

After striking the bus, Modesitt sideswiped another car, crashed through a fence and then landed in a slough—basically a big, muddy ditch filled with nasty water. Oregon State Police soon arrived to fish him out and to arrest him. And that’s when they noticed something very strange.

Modesitt wasn’t wearing any pants!

These may be slightly dated, but you get the point (Jane Austen's World)

These may be slightly dated, but you get the point (Jane Austen’s World)

Yes, it looks like a pantless man—who was also carrying a firearm, although I’m not really sure where he stashed it—wanted to board a school bus. Whether he realized there were no kids aboard or simply wanted to “do things” to the female driver, I have no idea. Hell, he may have been hoping for a busload of children, given how many sickos seem to be among us today. Fortunately, though, no one was hurt and nothing tragic happened… for a change.

I am curious about the no-pants thing, though. The obvious reason to go pantless would be to show your wiener to people, I guess, but the same can be accomplished with sweat pants, gym shorts and a host of other acceptable clothing options. You could even get creative and sew your own pants with a convenient trap-door crotch barely noticeable to the human eye, much less the Oregon State Police.

Either way, there’s just something about driving in the Oregon winter with no pants—and then wading in a nice, cold slough—that doesn’t seem healthy…

Posted on January 19, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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