Get Your Goat
Something I never expect to see in the news headlines—much less in multiple headlines—are goats.
Pit bulls, chimpanzees, wolves… these sorts of animals rarely surprise me since it seems someone is always being attacked, mauled or killed by dangerous animals, but goats? As far as I know, all they do is graze, poop and make endless noise, but I guess I still have a lot to learn about these creatures… despite having a goatee on my face for as long as I can remember.
The first goat reference came from Greenfield, Massachusetts and was relatively tame, no pun intended. Last Saturday evening, officers responded to a call about suspicious activity at a local Sunoco gas station. The report came in around 8 p.m. and seemed to involve “a woman crying and yelling and a man acting suspicious near a car.” Of course, what officers discovered once they arrived was much different.
As it turned out, there was no woman and no suspicious activity. Instead, they found the “suspicious” man and the source of all the alleged crying: he had a car full of goats!
Fortunately, there was no crime, no one was hurt and the goats appeared to be in good condition. Chalk it up to country living, I guess.
Moments after reading this story, I stumbled across goats yet again, this time in a post from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. And trust me when I say that this story is much more bizarre than the last.
The Dock Street Brewing Company in West Philadelphia is known for concocting some rather off-beat, freaky beers. Their latest batches have names like Prisoner of Hell—made with bubble gum, herbs and spices—and Man Full of Trouble Porter—which utilizes chocolate and black malts. Of course, it’s their latest brew that seems to be getting all the attention.
The beer is called Dock Street Walker and was created in honor of one of the best shows on television, AMC’s The Walking Dead. By now you’re probably wondering how goats factor into all of this, right? Well if you thought they appeared on the beer’s label, you would be wrong; they appear in its ingredients.
Yes, it seems the “secret ingredient” of Dock Street Walker is none other than—wait for it—goat brains!
“The flavor is a light stout and it tastes really roasty and chocolatey,” Company President Rosemarie Certo said of their latest flavor. “A little bit of smoke from the goat brains that were cooked in our wood-burning oven.”
To add some color—and to give the beer a bloody hue—cranberries were also added to the mix, which might make this easier for some people to stomach. Sadly, I’m not one of those people—not because of the goat brains, mind you, but because I hate cranberries. I would certainly prefer the brains if given a choice, in other words.
After reading these stories—and realizing that goats are much more prevalent in the news than I ever imagined—I couldn’t help but wonder: Should we put these folks together? That way the man with the crying goats can get some peace and quiet while he enjoys a cold, refreshing brew made from… that’s right… his own goats’ brains!
It’s worth considering, I think.
Posted on April 1, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged animals, beer, commentary, current-events, entertainment, funny, goats, humor, news, perspectives, The Walking Dead. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.