Put the Seat Down!
Although I hate to generalize—or should I say that I try not to generalize, but it has been known to happen—I can’t imagine there are many men in the world who have not lived with a female for at least a short period of time. Not everyone has sisters, girlfriends or wives, mind you, but we all have mothers, and they certainly qualify.
Regardless of how long men cohabitate with the so-called fairer sex, however, one thing is for sure: they have probably been lectured about putting the toilet seat down after using the bathroom. I know that I have on multiple occasions.
It’s always been hard for me to understand why this is so important to women—aside from the whole “sitting in pee” thing, which I agree with completely. After all, how difficult is it to simply put down the seat before using the bathroom? Better yet, how would women react if men started asking them to raise the seat when they finished?
Unfortunately, I made the rookie mistake of asking one of my girlfriends similar questions years ago—and to this day I’m not sure I understand her answer. She told me that leaving the seat up could cause her to fall into the toilet during her late-night runs to the bathroom… as if women enter the dark rooms ass-backwards and just plop down where they think the toilet should be. At the time, I accepted her rather nonsensical reasoning since I knew the truth: she just wanted me to be courteous. And I have tried hard to be that way ever since.
Too bad other men don’t follow my example, like 38-year-old Michael Briggs of Schenectady, New York, for instance.
In December 2012, police investigated the murder of Mary Greco, an 82-year-old retired nun, of all things. Greco lived alone and often relied on others to perform basic tasks for her. One such person was Briggs, who she hired to shovel snow off her car that year.
During the investigation, Sgt. Darryl Mallard noticed something strange, and something many of us would likely miss: Greco’s toilet seat was up. As a male, Mallard undoubtedly understood how this “no-no” was normally perpetrated by members of his own gender, so he decided to test the toilet handle for fingerprints. And lo and behold, the prints he found belonged to none other than Michael Briggs, a robber who fled his parole in Long Island around the time of the killing.
With this new evidence in hand, officers continued their investigation and discovered Briggs’ prints and DNA all over Greco’s home. A short time later, they found surveillance video showing a man who appeared to be Briggs walking toward the nun’s home with a shovel just before her murder.
In other words, all the pieces started clicking into place. And this past Monday, Briggs finally confessed to the crime and pleaded guilty to attempted burglary and second-degree murder. He will receive a 30-year prison sentence in June, according to Syracuse.com.
And it’s all because he forgot to put down the toilet seat. Some people never learn…
Posted on April 4, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged Bathroom, commentary, Crime and Justice, current-events, funny, gender differences, humor, Michael Briggs, news, perspectives, stupid, toilet seat. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.