Tit for Twat

Guys, please leave the body cavity gun smuggling to the ladies (Friends of NRA)

Guys, please leave the body cavity gun smuggling to the ladies (Friends of NRA)

At first glance, you may think my title refers to the English saying about retaliation, as in “he refused to get into a tit-for-tat battle of pranks with his jackass friends.” You may even think the word twat is a typo, but I assure you this is not the case.

Instead, my title refers to Dallas Archer, a 19-year-old woman arrested last Monday for driving with a suspended license in Tennessee. And when you hear her story, all your doubts in my spelling abilities should be laid to rest.

Following her arrest, Archer was transported to Kingsport jail, where a female officer conducted a standard search—if you consider a body cavity search standard, I mean. During her search, the officer noticed something strange in Archer’s crotch and called another female officer over to take a look. That’s when they discovered what the “unknown object” really was: a gun!

Yes, lodged in Archer’s vagina—business end out, I hope—was a loaded, .22-caliber mini-revolver. It turns out the gun had been stolen from the automobile of 70-year-old John Souther, a retired car salesman who promised to give his “little fellow a bath in bleach” upon hearing of its recovery.

Dallas Archer "p-bug" is licensed to kill (Pin It)

Dallas Archer’s “p-bug” is licensed to kill (Pin It)

That sounds like a great idea to me, John.

In addition to the suspended license thing, Archer now faces charges of gun possession and smuggling contraband into a correctional facility—she was released on $6000 bond and will be in court sometime soon.

Of course, things could have been much worse for Archer. A similar thing happened to Oklahoma’s Christie Harris last year, only she not only had a loaded revolver in her hoochie—she had two bags of crystal meth up her butt, as well!

Posted on April 26, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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