Apocalypse Now?

How soon is now? (CDC)

Is it just me or does anyone else feel like the zombie apocalypse could be coming sooner rather than later?

Years ago, I proposed a theory that may not have been original—or maybe it was—but that may also be applied to current times. The theory postulated that the government was gradually introducing us to the idea of alien life through the media and popular culture. In film, for instance, E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial teaches us to be wary of aliens, yet compassionate, while Independence Day prepares us for more hostile alien encounters.

In my view—and if my theory was correct—this meant the government had evidence that aliens existed, but were hesitant to share it because of the panic it might create for the rest of us. Sure, they also may have hidden it in order to release alien technology to the public in the form of innovative products—like Velcro and Silly Putty—but that’s neither here nor there.

These days, I don’t think many of us would be that shocked if E.T. walked up to us on the street—box of Reese’s Pieces in hand—and asked to borrow our cell phone so he could “phone home,” so in many ways it seems as if the government’s efforts worked.

Zombies, on the other hand, are a different story.

Could “The Walking Dead” help us survive a zombie apocalypse? (AMC)

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a zombie nut—and a cult-like follower of AMC’s hit show The Walking Dead—so there’s a small part of me that not only expects a zombie apocalypse, but also welcomes it. I don’t have a special kit made or a huge stockpile of weapons and canned food, mind you, but I do have plans. And I’ll be ready to execute those plans at a moment’s notice if the undead shit hits the fan.

Of course, we all know the odds of this really happening are slim. Not slim-to-none, just slim. Why the upgrade in zombie danger level, you ask? That’s easy: Mother Nature.

Consider the 2008 M. Night Shyamalan film and box-office bomb The Happening, for instance. Even though the movie generally sucks—and this is coming from a huge MNS fan, mind you—its premise has always intrigued me. Basically, Mother Nature comes to view humankind as a threat, creates an airborne virus that causes people to immediately kill themselves, and “thins the herd” so fewer humans exist to harm the planet.

It’s actually quite creepy, if you think about it, but not outside the realm of possibility, I’m afraid. Just look at the strange viruses that keep popping up all over the world—many transmitted from animals like birds, pigs, monkeys and even camels. I’m referring, of course, to Middle East Respiratory Syndrome, otherwise known as MERS.

MERS is a deadly viral respiratory illness caused by a corona virus and first reported in 2012 in Saudi Arabia. Since then, it has spread to 18 countries—including the U.S.—and has a kill rate of roughly 30%. And this Saturday, the Centers for Disease Control reported the first person-to-person transmission of MERS in the U.S.

The deadly MERS-CoV virus (WHO)

In other words, it’s spreading.

The good news is that most people who contract MERS live to tell about it, but viruses—and Mother Nature, for that matter—always adapt. Imagine this happens again and the new MERS virus, which we can call MERS-2, has a slightly different effect: it turns people into zombies!

Suddenly, we’re in the midst of the zombie apocalypse—one brought about by Mother Nature and intended to rid the world of as many human beings as possible. Why, Lord, why could we never truly commit to recycling, sustainability, green energy and the rest of that tree-hugging, granola-chomping lifestyle?

Why, indeed. And I certainly wouldn’t look to the Lord for help. Consider this: if the Antichrist is supposed to come from the Middle East to start the so-called “end of days,” is it possible he could come in viral form rather than human? What better way to cleanse the world of its people than to have them annihilate themselves? You could even label survivors as the Chosen—the ones brave, resourceful and fortunate enough to be worthy of Heaven following the Second Coming.

Okay. This religious angle is kind of a stretch, but MERS certainly could become MERS-2 given the right set of circumstances. Again, the odds are slim, but I was a little concerned by some news I heard recently—news intended to be funny, but which could also veil a more serious message.

Check out the Pentagon’s zombie preparedness plan (US Government)

It came from the Pentagon as CONPLAN 8888, also known as Counter-Zombie Dominance—a detailed plan of how the military should respond when a zombie apocalypse occurs. Read it for yourself by going HERE. It’s pretty hilarious.

“The document is identified as a training tool used in an in-house training exercise where students learn about the basic concepts of military plans and order development through a fictional training scenario,” a spokeswoman for U.S. Strategic Command said recently. “This document is not a U.S. Strategic Command plan.”

Despite being a very creative way to train soldiers—albeit a fictional one—I wonder if my old theory about the government, aliens and pop culture can be applied here. If so, then it stands to reason that this “training document”—and perhaps everything pop culture about zombies and the undead—is supposed to prepare us for what’s coming… namely the zombie apocalypse, which may or may not be MERS-induced.

It could start after some space germ jumps off a meteor that just crashed to Earth and starts spreading through the heartland… or in some secret government lab where the testing of a new chemical weapon goes horribly awry… you just never know, but you can be ready.

Bring it on, zombies!

Posted on May 18, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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