Roller Coaster Rubout

The “Ultimate” killing machine? (Flickr)

The last few months have seen members of the Islamic terrorist group ISIS behead American journalists James Foley and Steven Sotloff. And earlier today, 30-year-old Alton Nolen of Oklahoma was charged with first-degree murder and assault for allegedly killing two former co-workers at the processing plant where he once worked—he beheaded one of them with a knife.

In other words, “off with his head” (or her head) seems to have been taken to heart by psychos everywhere. Unfortunately, news of another beheading was just released, only this time the victim wasn’t a human being; it was a deer.

The accident happened on The Ultimate, a steel roller coaster at the U.K. theme park Lightwater Valley. Saturday morning, riders on the coaster were cruising down a long stretch of track in a wooded area when they hit and decapitated a young deer, who died instantly. Some passengers were sprayed with blood as a result, but otherwise no one was injured.

Of course, this isn’t the first time The Ultimate struck one of Bambi’s kinfolk. In 1994, the coaster hit a deer, ripped off its legs and left its antlers stuck in the safety bars. Blood-soaked passengers were traumatized by the incident, but thankfully only one person was injured.

Maybe it’s me, but The Ultimate doesn’t seem like the best name for this “killer coaster”… unless they change it to The Ultimate Bloodbath!

Posted on September 30, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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