Ball Protection

Protect your scrotum and more with the fashionable (and useful) Scroguard! (HuffPost)

Men, have you ever been in a sexual, condom-using situation and wondered how you might protect more than just your fleshy member? Do you find yourself in need of even more protection, primarily in the groin area?

Well, I’m happy to say that the answer to your questions has arrived in the form of a new invention: the Scroguard.

Like a latex girdle, the Scroguard wraps around your nether region, buttons on the sides and allows you to connect your favorite condom for maximum protection. It “reduces skin-to-skin contact,” which is another way of saying all the sex juices should roll right off of it.

Granted, it hasn’t been approved by the FDA and isn’t really designed to protect against sexually transmitted diseases, but that hardly matters since it looks so damn good!

I’m being extremely facetious, by the way.

An added feature of the Scroguard is that it can also function as a sort of sexual Whoopee cushion. During sex, air pockets form between the Scroguard and your skin. This means that the occasional thrust is met with a distinct fart sound, which most won’t find alarming since farts and sex tend to go hand-in-hand.

If you’re interested in obtaining a Scroguard for yourself, then please watch their short infomercial by going HERE. And if you still want one when the video ends, the Scroguard is available online for $19.99—a small price to pay for such a sexual fashion statement, to be sure!

Posted on October 3, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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