Let It All Hang Out!

There should be plenty of squeezing and straining this weekend (Getty Images)

Have you ever wondered why more sporting events aren’t held in the nude? Are you interested in competing while letting it all hang out… literally?

Well, the wait is finally over, my clothing-optional friends! The 2014 Nude Olympics have arrived!

This Saturday, San Francisco will hold its first nude Olympics since 2008. There will be javelin throws, foot races, beach volleyball and a host of other events, all of which will feature flopping breasts, twirling sausages and widespread butt cheeks.

There may even be a tug-of-war, which to me sounds like a recipe for disaster of the clenching, butthole-puckering variety. To each his own, I guess.

Although San Francisco banned public nudity last year, event organizers don’t expect any trouble from law enforcement or political leaders—many of whom may actually decide to spectate this weekend.

As many as twenty naked athletes are expected to attend and hope to bring awareness to the clothing-optional cause. Registration will begin at 11 a.m. on Saturday and events will pick up around noon. The weather should be nice and warm, too—ideal conditions for limiting unnecessary penis shrinkage, in other words.

If you live in or plan on travelling to the Bay area this weekend, swing by Baker Beach near the Golden Gate Bridge to check things out. It should be an event for the ages… and their genitals, of course.

Posted on October 8, 2014, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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