In the Mail

“Do I make you horny, baby? Yeah!” (Wikipedia Commons)

A funny thing happened to 45-year-old Paul Bennett of Wigan, England last September—something that just resulted in two counts of indecent exposure and threatening, abusive words and behavior.

It happened in a public shopping area on September 9, 2014 and was originally reported by British tabloid The Mirror. According to reports, Bennett dropped his pants in public and started to play with himself… and that was only the beginning.

He then walked over to a mailbox, started making sexual advances towards it, rubbed his business against it while shouting “wow” repeatedly, completed his act and started swinging from a lamppost.

Paul Bennett was convicted of indecent exposure after attempting to have sex with a mailbox.

The insatiable Paul Bennett (The Mirror/PinIt)

Police found Bennett a short while later—exposing himself outside another store, no less—and promptly arrested him. He was obviously very drunk and cursed them while they apprehended him.

Martin Jones, Bennett’s lawyer, understood how disturbing his client’s behavior was for those who witnessed his penile display and summed it up best when he said, “Clearly there are issues that need to be addressed.”

Of course, my only question is this: Did Bennett use the proper postage for his special delivery?

Posted on January 21, 2015, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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