Reality Check

Reality is always stranger than fiction (Melissa Agnes)

Have you ever woken up to a new day and felt that everything was right with the universe?

Me neither. And once I settle in to read the daily news, I quickly realize just how messed up the universe truly is, especially in this little corner of it. Take some of today’s stories, for instance… otherwise known as today’s reality checks.

In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, a man in a white van has been tossing paper airplanes into yards where kids are playing. This wouldn’t be an issue except for one important fact: the planes are made from pages torn out of pornographic magazines. The perpetrator is said to be a white man between the ages of 18-25 and he is still on the loose. Here’s hoping they apprehend this pervert sometime soon.

Weatherford uses pee to defend himself (Evansville PD)

In Evansville, Indiana, 84-year-old Charles Weatherford was recently arrested for battery after getting into a heated argument with a 13-year-old boy over some broken bricks on his property. Granted, an argument normally isn’t enough to warrant arrest, but Weatherford didn’t just lash out with words; he also dumped a bowl full of his urine over the boy’s head and claimed it was self-defense. I suppose the boy should be glad he wasn’t attacked with something even more odoriferous, huh?

And in Tokyo, Japan, a graduate student spurned by his cheating wife marched into a law office, beat the crap out of her lover, yanked down the man’s pants, cut his penis off with gardening shears and later flushed it down the toilet. Fortunately, his victim will live, but this should warrant some kind of cliché about a man scorned, don’t you think?

How’s that for a reality check?

Posted on August 19, 2015, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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