Crapping Out

Hendrix was busted by skid marks! (Denver District Attorney)

They say that crime doesn’t pay, but before DNA testing became the norm, it often did. As long as criminals weren’t caught on camera, identified by eyewitnesses or “fingered” due to some incriminating physical evidence, they could get away with murder. And I mean that both literally and figuratively.

Committing crimes today, however, is a much more difficult endeavor.

Sure, some criminals escape without leaving a trace—or so they believe—but even a single hair at a crime scene could be enough to secure an arrest thanks to DNA testing. Today’s criminals have to be extremely savvy if they hope to evade the authorities. And they have to start with a nearly foolproof plan that leaves no risk of capture.

Unfortunately, no one bothered to let 49-year-old Rodney Mark Hendrix of Denver, Colorado know.

In August 2014, Hendrix was arrested for stealing more than $4000 worth of electronics and musical instruments from a church and pre-school. He was charged with theft, burglary and identity theft—and has since been jailed for drug offenses—but it isn’t what he did that caught my eye; it’s how he was caught that truly makes his case interesting.

You see, an employee at the pre-school noticed some poop-stained shorts in a bathroom at the crime scene, bagged them up and handed them over to police. The shorts were immediately sent for DNA testing—which took more than a year—but the results were incontrovertible: Hendrix was the culprit.

“In Colorado, a DNA sample is taken for anyone who is arrested for a felony,” Lynn Kimbrough, a spokesperson for the Denver District Attorney, told reporters. “So when they ran the unknown sample, his DNA was already in the system.”

Why Hendrix didn’t realize this is beyond me, but what is more disturbing is this: What the hell was he doing shitting in his shorts and leaving them behind?

I guess crime isn’t for everyone—especially those with weak constitutions and loose bowels!

Posted on October 13, 2015, in Perspectives and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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